Chews Wisely
Chews Wisely
When it comes to lessons on the law of Chastity, I believe in for many years the general approach seemed more damaging than it was helpful. One such example that was widely used incorporated a stick of gum as an object for analogy. The teacher would show the nice, fresh gum and ask everyone in the class who wanted it. The response of course would typically be one of everyone raising their hand expressing their desire to be the one to receive it. Then the teacher would proceed to chew up the gum! After chewing the gum the same question would be posed once more. Who now wanted the piece of gum? The response of course looked much different the second time around. Herein lies the analogy as it relates to morality. Cleanliness is likened unto the fresh gum whereas less than pure is likened on the flipside to the chewed up piece of gum. The following article is an opinion piece in response to this object lesson. While some of the values reflected do not align with my own, there are other great points made and feelings clearly expressed.
For several generations we have managed to keep the topic of sexual intimacy on a list of taboo topics and among "rules" we hope to convince people to follow through fear and threats. Is not the entire point to help guide our children toward a healthy perspective on sexual relationships and strive to experience exactly that with their future spouse? I struggle to think of many examples of mental, emotional health regarding just about anything that was accomplished simply through tactics of defense and evasiveness. With my children I have decided to focus on the end goal and help them recognize the path on which they may travel to arrive at their desired destination....hopefully!
My children are well aware that my husband and I enjoy each other's company. We go on regular dates, hold hands in the car, kiss in front of them and sneak off for weekends when we can. And yes, somehow we still manage to do so after twenty-three years of marriage and six children! How would I possible reconcile our outward expressions of love with teaching them that it is "bad." No, it is great! But only within appropriate parameters. We may accomplish temporary fear based behavior modification with a long list of "NO's." My prayer, however, is that my children can understand that if they can enter a relationship without a moral history burdened with regret, guilt, and/or trauma, they will be able to have a more fulfilling, healthy physical relationship from the beginning. That having been said, mortality brings trials and we will inevitably be effected one way or another. We may even misunderstand the atonement and allow ourselves to identify with the chewed up gum. But the atonement is real! We can be clean again and worthy of receiving all the blessings that our Heavenly Father has in store for us.
If you are struggling currently or know of someone who could use words of hope, please click the link above. President Benson gives a short list of vital steps to take towards repentance. The final suggestion, number 5, is one of great hope and promise.
Our children have questions and they will seek to find answers. With the internet at their fingertips they will likely have quick access to a great deal of misinformation. What or who will become their go to source? Chews Wisely!
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